Hal Turner Needs It

‘Assassination’ schedule announced for Congress

“Radio-show host (Hal Turner) says leaders won’t be allowed to ‘betray’ nation.” I’ll go out on a limb here and guess that this guy is a right-winger, and from there you could go in a couple different directions, because there are paid radio personalities of the wingnut persuasion whose bread and butter is to go down this path when it comes to Muslims, Immigrants and/or abortion. In this case we’re dealing with a serious audience-grabber, that being your white daughter getting married and becoming ‘Mrs. Vasquez’. Not unlike the fear white listeners have about their daughters becoming ‘Mrs. Mutombo’, though in present day right wing parlance the latter is filed under “How the ACLU is ruining America”, while the hipanics are blamed for everything from poor schools, health care, wages, STD transmission, rise in crime, availability of narcotics, terrorism…on and on the list goes, with the typical right-wing radio clone blaming the liberal media for losing the war in Iraq, and any failure of public policy falling squarely on the shoulders of illegal immigrants.

Now that Democrats are back in control of both houses of Congress, they can finally expand their gameplan. Mr. Turner realized this before Democrats were even sworn in, writing that, “ANY MEMBER OF CONGRESS WHO INTRODUCES, CO-SPONSORS OR VOTES IN FAVOR OF ANY SUCH AMNESTY WILL BE DECLARED A DOMESTIC ENEMY AND WILL BE CONSIDERED A LEGITIMATE TARGET FOR ASSASSINATION…We may have to ASSASSINATE some of the people you elect on Nov. 7! This could be your LAST ELECTION CHANCE, to save this Republic…Sorry to have to be so blunt, but the country is in mortal danger from our present government and our liberty is already near dead because of this government. If you are too stupid to turn things around with your vote, there are people out here like me who are willing to turn things around with guns, force and violence. We hope our method does not become necessary.”

Elections have different effects on all of us I suppose, but if this brand of cry-baby bullshit posing as patriotism could actually convince a dime a dozen radio hack that they’re a modern day cross between Jimmy Hollywood and the Unibomber, then I present the next portion as proof that Hal Turner is the retarded version of that guy…“Members of The United States House of Representatives or United States Senate who try to grant any form of Amnesty to millions of illegal aliens are hereby notified they may as well paint a bulls-eye target on themselves. Our Bullets don’t care about their sovereign power…This seems to be ‘it’ folks. I’m going to do what I have to do to protect my nation from its government. I know where all of my New Jersey Congressmen and Senators live. Do you know where yours live? If not, you better find out before January so you can scope out their neighborhoods and prepare yourselves…Those of you who, for years, have said you’re ‘gonna do this’ or ‘gonna do that’ when the time comes; are about to face ugly reality. In January, ‘the time’ will come. In January the entire world will find out if you’re real or just a bigmouth coward.”

For a few spittle laced sentences at the end there we find out that he’s not ranting about immigration or murder anymore, but rather in code he’s speaking to the all male guest list for an orgy in a room he’d paid a deposit for already. They call themselves the ‘New Jersey Nutters’, and apparantly it’s been a passion of Hal’s over the years to take some time off, lie to the wife about a conference he’s going to, and unwind the only way he knows how to anymore. Seems that the ‘Nutters’ have been his primary source of support over the years, and with the relative failure of his radio career, the pressure is certainly taking its toll. A member of the group who insisted on remaining nameless for the sake of his safety had this to say,

“Hal’s always been high strung, but in the last year he really got creepy…started resembling Tom Berringer’s character in ‘Looking for Mr. Goodbar’, but that was alright…it was really when he started talking about guns all the time on his radio show that a few of us decided to cut him off.”

So there you have it. It’s not about illegal immigrants or Democrats at all, but rather another example of a gay American man who needs to hate himself for a living to afford college for his kids. In Colorado a mega-church CEO goes down flaming, and here on the east coast there’s another case of it, another wife and kids who have to deal with the lifelong psychological burden. Compounding the issue though is the difference in message, whereas Pastor Ted simply preached to adults and children about hating themselves and their neighbors in the name of the Lord, Hal Turner is taking it up a notch. Like the Columbine kids in a way, Turner is channeling his self-loathing in hopes of being the first of many. Indeed, he wants to go down in history.

Senator Martinez (D-NJ)…if you’re reading this, LEARN TO DUCK!