A.Q. Khan – aka “Fallout Boy”

A Pakistani scientist peddled nuclear arms technology to Iran, North Korea and probably Harlem as well for all we know, which justifies jail time at least, if not a USA-certified “enemy combatant” designation. Imagine the amount of dire scenarios that ran through the heads of Bush and Cheney when they learned of this particular man’s contribution to the free market!

After all, it wasn’t even more than a year ago that Kim Jong Ill tested a missile which landed in the Sea of Japan. Since then we’ve agreed to deliver to him monies in frozen accounts, accumulated through a bit of criminal racketeering. The hard part has been finding a bank that will transfer the bribe money, but besides all that, he’s apparently going to give us in return…well, the same deal we had already acquired in the 90s, only with less certainty. What is certain though, is that A.Q. Khan provided the type of nuclear leverage that was used by North Korea in this negotiation that has been going on for years now.

Iran was also a customer. This information is troubling when it seems like every day we’re inching a bit closer to a spate of that pussified bullshit we call “war”, when billions of dollars worth of missiles, cluster bombs and no doubt a series of ‘bunker busters’ are splattered all across the map, killing thousands of innocents and in true GOP-fashion, basically making a lot of noise and a big fucking mess without really accomplishing anything. I like to think of it as a geopolitical version of Danny Bonaduce saying he’s going to “shake your foundation”, and instead just getting high and photocopying his prick a couple thousand times.

Weapons of mass destruction is what it’s supposedly all about, and like the simple child who continues to believe in Santa Claus by junior high, it’s deja-vu with the political posturing and from the get go about a mile of territory just handed over to the lunatics pushing for war before the debate even starts. “Iran having the bomb is a problem”…whatever Democrat says this is an idiot in my book. Because the idea isn’t to AGREE with your political opponents after they’ve already pulled this trick on everyone once.

What you do instead, is respond to a question about the danger that Iran poses by talking about A.Q. “Fallout Boy” Kahn, and pointing out the fact that he sold nuclear technology to Iran. Then point out the fact that we settled at an earlier time with Pakistan to have him placed under house arrest. After that point has sunk in, you can then deliver the punch line. “He’s a free man today, and it is possible that he may have been free already for a month or more before. That’s right, in the same country that Osama Bin Laden is reported to be laming it for the time being.”

Then let the hoopleheads try to wrap their head around a concept like this and see what happens. All we’d need would be one front runner for the Democratic nomination to start up with this during one of the debates, and maybe Americans would stop and think about how we’re allied with a dictator who took power in a coup and presides over a nation of increasingly fanatic religious youth, yet putting the screws to a neighbor to the south whose leader was democratically elected. Our ally has within its borders, the man who orchestrated 9/11 and the supplier of “Nuclear Bomb Making For Dummies” to the Axis of Evil.