My Spouse Called From Baghdad

(fromDailyKOS) My wife is an officer in Iraq. She did a decade of service as an enlisted soldier. She wanted to have an effect on policy and make decisions on a day to day basis when she chose to become an officer. She is in Iraq with a team tasked to train the Iraqis how to do their job. This particular had once been for the Special Forces. I know because I played the Green Beret game for a brief time. I was trained as an airborne grunt. I chose to be a trill seeker, a ground-pounder. Eleven-Bravo…Hooah (Al’s note: 11B = infantry, boots – no vehicles). I thoroughly enjoyed my time wearing our nations uniform. I am from a long line of military men. Grandfather, Father, Uncle, Brother, spouse etc.

I got out in 2002 and refused offers to continue my service. I knew what was coming…many of us knew. Sadaam was going to be taken out and a future in the Army looked bloody. I was confused and shocked, then pissed off when hearing all the Iraq war drums. I searched for any connection to Sadaam and 9-11. I have been an Iraq war hater/critic from a year before we invaded. On 9/11, my wife and I were both were in uniform.

I am frazzled, I am tired and I am disgusted. My wife has a personal blog and posts from Iraq. She is often deleting my posts telling me I’m offending some who may be reading. She also warns me I am referring to her boss…you know who…the idiot Redneck who used to be our Governor when she and I met in Texas during the Clinton era. The military was actually enjoyable back then.

Today our friends in the service are either waiting to deploy, waiting to get home from deployment, looking forward to getting out of the sevice, or grinding out the final years until they can retire. Being in the Army isn’t enjoyable for us anymore. If you have deployed to the republican disaster in Iraq, you never want to go back.

My Wife and I both joined the service to go to college, escape someplace, see the world, and change our lives. My beautiful spouse loves her career and enjoys working with the men and women who serve in our armed forces. My wife currently supports Obama. She has a couple of his books in her duffle bags. She also respects Clinton, but doesn’t think she can win in the general election. I have yet to throw my sadddle atop an ’08 beast of burden. Obama didn’t support this war. That means a lot to me. I am hoping Jim Webb will be a large part of our nations foreign policy conversation. Wes Clark and Webb are my political heros today. My wife is my real life hero. She is the coolest woman on earth. You all would fall in love with her.

We are part of a growing fraternity of progressive military families who refuse to be silent in the company of wingers who insist those who serve are conservative. Hating-for-sport isn’t in our nature, it is impossible for us to be conservative. Truth be told, we know many people in the Army who have had it with Bush. We know several officers who can’t stand todays GOP. Many officers who’ve gotten out cite the GOP and their incompetence as the reason they got out.

My warrior-wife knows the Army inside and out. She can recite the ucmj and quote from document orders and work over any ignorant fool attempting to test her. She is a brilliant young officer and a great asset to the Army. She is also a spicy Latina willing to put her desert boot up your ass at the drop of a 5.56mm round.

I live in fear every day. I look down the street hoping not to see any cars coming. The dreaded government vehicle pulling into the driveway is my greatest fear. I become sick when I allow myself to imagine how I will react to that terrible news so many of us have endured. That being said, I do have to plan for my wife’s death. What a terrible thing to write. I have to plan for her death because that is the responsible thing to do as the at-home parent for our kids. Arrangments have to be discussed. Burial plots, family, insurance, inheritance, etc. The only thing harder in life for me to deal with as a military spouse is the sight of those Government cars.

The tears and the crying and the goodbyes are very difficult, but sitting here day after day waiting for any communication is enough to make me want to take a long nap. A 15 month nap to be exact. That is how long my wife will be gone. Watching my wife say goodbye to her kids with tears running down her face and the kids crying is enough to make me want to completely lose it. I cried watching her cry saying both “goodbye for now” and “please never forget me” to our kids. She was saying she’ll see them soon and saying goodbye forever in a fragile and motherly way. It is a terrible thing to load onto children. It is a difficult thing to do for a mom who will be at war for months on end. I haven’t cried so hard, (in private) with full voice, and clenched fists, and red-faced with pain, and with tears running off my nose and chin in years. I am no longer a God-fearing agnostic, just in case. I have been praying a lot lately and my wife, who grew up in Catholic schools, taught the kids to pray nightly.

Please God, fogive me for my truckload of sins, and watch over my wife. I can’t handle her death on my own and our children need their mom.

Today she sent me an email from Baghdad. There were several emails as the internet service is very slow from inside the wire. (Likely monitored by dickandkarl) Here is a sample for those who’ve hung with me this long. A few of the letters are meant for her list of peeps, including our kids school teachers etc.

Hello;
I am writing to you from Baghdad. I am still here waiting for a flight out to Taji. I just found out that the trip in the chopper is going to be only 10 min, so…we waited two days for a 10 minute ride…how about that?

This place is much like a dump, there’s nothing but reminders of war everywhere you look. Today, we took a bus to Camp Victory. In this compound, there are several camps together—Camp Stryker, Camp Slayer, Camp Victory, Camp Liberty and of course, BIAP. I don’t know what that means) Victory is the camp that most of the politicians come and visit. It has palaces, what used to be nice buildings and even a man-made lake. To me, it is a shame what we have done to this city. I look around and I could see how everything was destroyed. We drove through what used to be a zoo and now it is just a field with over grown grass and trash. We went by a palace that was being built during the invasion and, four years later, it still has the cranes parked beside it but has not been touched in years. I was told that palace was being built for Saddam’s children but I am not sure how true that is.

Over in Camp Victory, we went to the PX. We were told that it had the biggest PX around so we had to go see it…well, it is tiny but I guess that here one should be happy with almost anything. We found a Seattle’s Best Coffee and we were drinking hot coffee in 100 degree weather but as I sweat my tail off, I was enjoying the only coffee that I’ve had for a while. We also made it to the dining facility which was huge. We were laughing saying that the soldiers here don’t need to eat all that food because they are going to end up fat.

There was so much to eat there… wow…

Well, I better get off here and take a nap…stay in touch and pray for my family.

Here is another one from my hero.

We flew yesterday in a C130 and it was the most uncomfortable ride ever….it fits 56 people and there were 52, can you believe that. We were in there like sardines….

Anyway, I am going to send this email and prepare the other one with pics and then I am going to get dressed so I can visit the dining facility. I love you and I miss you and I want you stop being mad, please stop being mad. Your recipes are funny (an idea I stole from blogland) but don’t be mad about things. It’s OK honey. M**** told me that we are going to write a book when I get back… LOL that’s cute. tequiero mucho

Here is one more

I went to my blog to try to do a post but I didn’t have time because I have to spend most of the time deleting things that you wrote. Babe, can you please STOP cursing. It looks really bad and I don’t know what to think when I read that. You sound so angry and like you are ranting on about stuff. Just write better things that are informative for me when I get on the blog and educational for other people that choose to look. I don’t want those things to be posted there…that can be bad for my career and there’s no need for an incredibly intelligent man to express himself that way. I understand that you are mad because I am here but you have to let go of the anger, it is not helping me and I am concerned about you when I read that. I really, really don’t want any “F” words in there or anything similar to it. I don’t want insults and name calling, especially to the people that I happen to work for. OK? Please…. I am afraid of people reading that and what they may think, it seems too radical.

Free speech is alive and well. Speaking of radical, this U.S. Army officer has a link to DKos on her personal blog!

I think I decided to write this here for my first diary because I want people to know there are thousands of liberals serving in the military. It is frustrating living as lefties in a world perceived by most to be nothing but wingers. I ran into my old drill Sgt a couple years ago and he said he was going to get out and join the peace corps.

When I heard Wes Clark speak out in 2003, I spent time learning about him and he became the person I would work for in 2004. He called me after dropping out of the ’04 race and thanked me for my support. We were thrilled an accomplished, intellectual four star General and former NATOSAC was speaking out. We all understand there are Democrats serving and dying for our country. It was inspiring to hear one speaking out. Thanks to W orst ever, things are easier in the service, as there are troops in droves realigning themselves politically and asking questions.

I would post pics of camels and of palaces and of some of the quarters she is living in but I don’t know how yet. I may put a link to her blog here one day. I’d have to ask her first. It is private, personal, and non-political blog offering a glimpse into her experiences with operation fucking oil whores, sorry honey.

My wife wants to run for office one day. She wants to become a US Senator and maybe President. She is certainly qualified.

Thank you for reading and allowing me to get this of my chest…writing is helpful for me.

Support the troops, even the ones who ride in on their triceratops.

From outside Ft Lewis, Washington

PEACE