Retired Narco Educates the Heads

What is the best way to hide your stash of marijuana when the police come knocking? How do you avoid positive tests for drugs? And what can you do to hoodwink narcotics-trained sniffer dogs? All these questions and many more will be answered by a DVD called Never Get Busted Again, about to go on sale on the internet. US law enforcement officers are furious about the DVD. What has made them even more furious is the fact that, until recently, the man who made it was one of the most experienced narcotics officers in the Texas police force. If anyone knows the dos and don’ts of getting busted, it is Barry Cooper. Mr Cooper, who made more than 800 drug arrests in his time with the Permian Basin drug task force, plans to begin selling the DVD on Tuesday. It is, he says, directed solely at marijuana dealers, not at dealers of harder drugs such as cocaine and methamphetamine. He told his local newspaper, the Tyler Morning Telegraph, he was following his conscience because he believed the war on drugs, specifically marijuana, was counter-productive. “I know I won’t be accepted by my peers here in East Texas, but in other areas of the country I will be celebrated,” he told the paper.

“When I was raiding houses and destroying families, my conscience was telling me it was wrong, but my need for power, fame and peer acceptance overshadowed my good conscience.” So far Mr Cooper is being coy about the details of the tips he gives out, revealing only in a three-minute promotional video that he goes into such crucial issues as whether coffee grounds really work as decoys, how to avoid narcotics profiling and how to “fool canines every time”. Tim Scott, the local police chief, said he was stunned by what a former top drugs officer was doing. “He’s going to tell all the ones we have been fighting how to get away with it and that makes me mad.” A senior narcotics officer in the region, Mark Waters, was similarly incensed. “This is a slap in the face to all that we do to uphold the laws and keep the public safe,” he said. Mr Cooper’s former bosses said that they would wait to see the new DVD before deciding what, if anything, to do about it.

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7 Responses to Retired Narco Educates the Heads

  1. S. R. says:

    I don’t know what it is about the War on Drugs, but I don’t give a fuck about its success. Drug addicts – quite annoying. The crime from fiends looking for drug cash equally annoying to say the least. Excuse the pun, but sacking someone for a trash bag full of weed…there are better things to do with law encorcement time. Meth heads will destroy themselves. Anyway, must be the wacky liberal in me to think this way.

  2. Libertarian really – – – the editors of National Review (conservative magazine) agree with you and I on this matter.

  3. S. R. says:

    I am probably a Libertarian if I think about it.

  4. The natural split as Republicans go further to the right, further to the side of fundamentalist Christians, is a defection of their libertarian voters. This is going to continue happening as long as a Democrat who is president in 2008 with a Democratic congress takes the social issues on the brink and pushed them over into reality. Pot is one area where common sense will wed libertarians to the Democrats for a generation. By 2012 if the laws were made, we’d have prison data and the testimony of law enforcement to battle conservatives on their claim it was a mistake to legalize – – – – this one issue could turn the tide for years to come.

    Forget about reproduction altogether, just keep up the standard as it is today, but fight hard on the issues that suck out our lives and tax dollars, the nonsense that clogs up our system, to make way for those who the system needs to focus on.

  5. captain_menace says:

    Hey guys, any tips for a Prime Rib?

    I bought 2 different roasts. I found out we’re having an extra person and the first wasn’t going to be big enough.

    Anyway, I was reading some on-line articles, and I really didn’t think about the quality of the cuts. I assumed that Prime Rib was Prime Rib. As it turns out there are 5 general categories of beef:

    Prime, Choice, Select, Cutter, Canner. Cutter and canner are what you’ll find in a fine Taco Bell beef burrito. Select is pretty much the bottom of the quality ladder for home cooking.

    I’ve got a Select roast, and a Choice roast. I’m going to cook them both and see what happens.

    I’ve read a lot of different opionions regarding “The Perfect Prime Rib”. Hard to tell which is the best. Last year was a fiasco, we cooked it on the grill and it was overdone. I’m going with the oven this year.

    Anyway, just looking for some advice from those who are able to produce a nice red, tender Prime Rib roast.

    Merry Christmas (in a pagan sort of way).

  6. captain_menace says:

    As for the article… pretty common to hear this kind of opinion from drug enforcement professionals “off the record”. Orders are orders.

  7. Indeed – as for the prime rib, all I know is to cook it long w/ a low temperature, as for specifics, I’m unsure. If it’s a roast, I’m even more lost, but I know it involves string…

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