Java Headaches – My Slow Brain – Korean Dominatrix – Army Rant

I told myself I wasn’t going to bore all of you with the details of what’s bugging me in terms of school, but right now I’m in need of an opportunity to vent.  As a student I consider myself to be top-shelf, motivated and attentive, but since high school it’s occured to me that I may in fact be mentally retarded.  You see, there are concepts that come about in my adult studies that not only go over my head, but return, flutter about just within earshot telling me all sorts of things like, “you don’t understand it because of that time you fell off of your skateboard on the hill behind Pilgrim Church” – “isn’t it amazing how all of our colleagues understand this and you’re looking like a grave digger who wandered into NASA hoping to use the john”, etc…and it’s not that I’m dim-witted in general you see, it’s just those times when I actually need my brain for something important.

These two classes I’m in right now, ‘Networking and Operating Systems’, and ‘Object Oriented Programming 1’ have challenged me a great deal (I’ve got A’s in both w/ 3 assignments left in the semester), seems like I should be happy with that, and I am, but honestly when I code something and finally flip the switch to see if it works, I feel like a idiot constantly for a long time before I’m finally there.  Software Engineering will be my job once this is all over with, not ‘Turning in Assignments for Grades’, so the fear creeps in that once I get a few more semesters into this, somehow I’ll be paddling upstream for so long that the current takes over eventually.  That’s what happened when I tried to learn how to speak Korean in 63 weeks while in the Army.  I got to week 45 and they finally cut me loose…saw that I put in the effort and gave me another shot at it, only this time it was Russian.  I’d say 20 weeks into that (probably less) I looked around and once again realized that my brain simply wasn’t geared towards what I was trying to accomplish.  I’m not near that point with this course of study, but at times…like last night as I was attempting to create objects in a collection and then store them in a vector, the fear creeped in.

One good thing about this here as opposed to the Army is I don’t have a roving band of foreign masochists hollaring at me day in day out.  Hoat, Adam and Sonicrusk can attest to this phenomenon…one in particular we referred to as the ‘Red Dragon’ would call me feeble minded or ridiculously idiotic about 34 times a week on average, but that was nothing compared to the Korean instructors, who would not only make with the degredation on a daily basis, but on the occasion that I did in fact score high on a test, they’d huddle together and rap off a stream of babble to one another that they knew none of us could understand, every once in a while peeking at me as they were talking…twice I had to retake an exam after they agreed that I had cheated, both times I scored higher the second go around, and the next day I could tell that they took it personally.  One skinny Korean woman with the name of ” ____ Moon” was the worst, as she’d call on me to translate and in the middle of what I was saying start to mutter and sigh in foreign tongue, I’d finish and she’d sigh again saying “no. no. no.” and perhaps throw in some Koreanglish about how everyone in the class suffered because I was still around.

Wow – I hadn’t thought about any of that in a long time…it probably explains why in the Russian program I was combative and less likely to take it personally…it probably also explains why I developed such a insatiable taste for malt liquor, Boone’s Farm and Jack Daniels…again HOAT, Adam and Sonicrusk can surely vouch for these details.  I think it was then that I became a jailhouse lawyer come to think of it.  One instance comes to mind with a hatchetfaced E-6, female with granny glasses and the urge to emasculate whoever she could…we’d all be in the company headquarters trying to study at night, first few weeks of the course, and there she was yuking it up with the CQ sergeant, loud and obnoxious (anyone remember this?), and as I recall it got to the point where I (PV2 Swearengen) got up and chewed her out where she stood, real loud, prompting a most surprising reaction…one that I cannot recall at this point, but surprising in that I kept my rank and wasn’t spending my subsequent weekends cutting grass with an electric shaver.  Or maybe she never existed…

No, I’m sure she did, and like a lot of sergeants in the Army more prone than others to talk to someone of lower rank like they’re ignorant wastes of their parents’ biology, you could tell that life before rank, especially life before the military, was not kind to her.  You’d have to be Hellen Keller to not understand why after being around her for 10 seconds…though with other sergeants it’s a bit more difficult to pick out right away.  Generally it’s a short, skinny man who looks like the one who got shoved into a lot of lockers in school while growing up, and he’s got a finely tuned way of catching details or expressions on a lower ranking soldier’s face, “what’s your problem, huh?  think you know something?  you know I could have you right now for insubordination?  think you’re funny?  STAND AT PARADE REST”, little Hitler’s taking something back, making up for all the times he had to hear it constantly from the jocks and everyone else.  Yea, she was like that but with a hell of a lot more built up sexual frustration that consolidated in her face over time to the point where at the age of 37 even a ridiculously high dose of tetracycline times three every day couldn’t manage to beat down the acne.  No husband, no children, but a big fat ass nonetheless, even though she ran 10 miles or more a week.

Much worse off than me and my vectors, java pains and crybaby bullshit.

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17 Responses to Java Headaches – My Slow Brain – Korean Dominatrix – Army Rant

  1. captain_menace says:

    How to be a Programmer: A Short, Comprehensive, and Personal Summary – by Robert Read

    Great piece to read. I’m a systems developer right now. Want to know what I look for in programmers (actually any project team members)?

    1) Creativity
    2) Enthusiasm
    3) Work ethic
    4) Knowledge

    In that order. Good programs aren’t necessarily created by the best and smartest programmers (not saying you’re not the best or smartest). Don’t beat yourself up. The toolkit you are developing will be worth it’s weight in gold. And the greatest benefit you will receive from the toolkit is knowing when other “IT” guys are blowing smoke up yer arse (not all IT folk are created equal). IT skills can be taught, and IT skillsets (and the need for certain skills) will change. People skills will take you farther than IT skills alone ever will. Having both is unbeatable.

    Congrats on your A (brown-nose) status.

  2. Heh – I certainly don’t skimp on respect…shit, they deserve it, I look at some of the biographies of my professors…one I have now has written over 100 books, created two publishing companies, already sold one off, degrees coming out of his eyeballs, insanely smart, not only in his accomplishments, but the way he goes about conducting class…it’s done in such a way that someone whose motivated can cut/paste all the notes and sample code into notepad, print them all out, staple and have them ready in advance for that nights’ session. So I’m always ready to go, on top of the assignments…it’s just when I’m attacking something that hasn’t been gone over in class, it’s then that I go into obsessive mode, sit here for 5 straight hours…like last night/this morning.

    Explaining the “theory” behind what I’m trying to do isn’t even close to over my head, but the actual construction of code to translate those concepts into the IDE is where I hit a snag. Which makes sense, because I worked for a number of years creating processes and business requirement documents for operations units to go to developers…so in terms of understanding “what” needs to be accomplished by the machine, I’m up to speed…

    That’s the drawback I suppose with online learning for a subject like this…there just aren’t enough hours available to cover all the coding. What bothers me more than all this though is that 2 out of the 4 peers in my group project came in with as much knowledge as I did, and they’re somehow able to put it all together and I’m stuck…

    I agree with what you’re saying about what makes a good “IT” guy…I’ve seen that play out throughout my career. I KNOW that if I acquire this skill and have the ability to apply it in the market, I’ll be great at it…hearing what you said makes me feel a LOT better right now.

    I’m going to check out that link once the boys have their baths, thanks!

  3. S. R. says:

    That was a great post. Wacky ride through computer programming and DLI circa 1997.

  4. S.R. do you remember who I’m referring to? It’s foggy to me, everybody but our guy SSG Roach (great American…heh…the kind of platoon sgt you want in a place like that, so obviously punching the clock you almost feel sorry for the poor saps w/ ones like…) – you know that female, real medusa-like, obnoxious and stupid and loud in that fine mix you’ll only find in this world wearing stripes in the US Army…

    Help me out w/ this…shit, maybe Adam remembers. I’d like to get the details of this altercation in the company HQ, because it seems important all of a sudden, like a moment when it turned, my second testicle droped…something like that. I’d be better off knowing whether this is all a manifestation of some kind, like if my brain created the story to compensate for not knowing how to speak any other language but this white-chocolate-englaaaash spewing everywhere today…

    Going into the memory back for a second here, but you’d walk into the HQ on the 2nd floor, turn right and there was a room, w/ the second stright ahead, though you couldn’t walk straight across, but around…I’d be in the room on the right when it was creepy and weird w/ that girl w/ the red hair I was jivin with than shuckin away from, to find a seat on other nights in that room straight ahead when you walk in…I thought that you and HOAT were in there, along w/ that dude we went to that Mexican bar w/…

    Something happened early on, see…we were all in our seats w/ headphones on or something, everyone was just out of basic, I had been there for a while…this (i believe the only female platoon sgt while I was there) one had herpes on her face by the looks of it and was carrying on about a story from her last assignment or some such bullshit real loud…

    The details that stick out in my mind most these days are the shenanigans w/ broderick, jason and the genital warts girl…lindsey, that girl w/ the frog tatoos around her thigh, my deranged roomate (no name comes to mind – but the day he moved in I was hammered and babbling on about this book I had by Booker T. Washington – later on I pretended to lose my TV in a bet to you because the guy was a jerk and did nothing but play Tomb Raider all the time)…you guys were in a building down the way, and…

    alright, too many memories coming back right now, and none of them have to do with the specific thing I was trying to remember about herpes-hatchet-face w/ the stripes talking loud.

    OK, while I’m at it…chris smith, where is this asshole today? You’ve still got channels to fill w/ an inquiry on that, right? Find that guy’s address and let’s send him some greeting cards with arm&hammer sprinkled inside, just enough to make him think he’s going to die for a few seconds…then we move on to…macomber, he’s probably living down the street from me right now and I don’t even know it…i’ll give 5-1 odds that simonds has overdosed on viagra at least once by now…’being right’ is most likely a brigadeer general by now…who was the one that ‘acted’ in those porn movies? blinky…we must find out at once what happened to her, and if it’s meth-related, we should start a fund to get her some false teeth at once (that scandal was the gift that kept on giving, a story i can surely write no problem given a few more details and some time)…ok, that ‘dorm leader’ jerkoff-type living on my floor who went to see carrot-top and wouldn’t stop trying to convince me it was great, I’d bet he’s doing real well, probably a pharmacudical rep – most likely the best around…

    wonder how that roomate of mine is doing w/ that dirty dirty he landed outside of ft. sill, has he killed himself yet…shit, that’s evil…fuck alqaeda, that’s true evil right there…but he was a prick, so i don’t feel bad right now, in fact:

    Imagine the overwhelming sensation, the pure relief of knowing your time in hell was finally over, and besides the fact that you were soon to be exiting Oklahoma for good, basic training had ended just hours before and there you are enjoying a cold one just outside of base planning to have some fun before flying out the next day. After 60 or so days of harsh conditions all around, no sleep, barely any dignity, and negros with hats hollaring at you nonstop, the ordeal is finally over. Indeed, easy street from here on out, just got to get out of Oklahoma before something bad happens. Yes…oh, what do we have here? Now I’m not that smart of a guy, but if I didn’t know any better…yup, that’s a hooker alright…where the fuck’s the ATM machine!?!?!

    Shit, wasn’t worth the $120 or the other $40 she took out of my wallet while I was in the bathroom, but DAMN if that didn’t hit the spot…just wish I’d have had a condom, or remembered to have picked some up while I was at that convenience store using the ATM.

    (now my black ass is roomed w/ this dude named Al and…)…the Red Cross wants to see me about something, loooOdedodedo, WHAT? Hepetitis! But…shit, my sex ed teacher was right.

    could have been better, but it’s getting late, and I’m too tired to start feeling sorry for someone at this point…what with these assignments and all…

    Stream of consciousness S.R. – that’s the ticket…that was my RELIGION back then, so if I just let go and run a bit now and then with these words, I’m sure it’ll all come back eventually…some pretty rich stories from back then I have to say. My own of course will have to wait until I’m sure the CIA has finally moved on to bigger fish.

  5. S. R. says:

    Oh yeah Al, I remember it all. I remember the name of that plain looking SSG. I remember what she looked like with the blonde white lady afro from 1972. I remember your roommate “Eddie,” although I don’t remember his last name. I remember virtually the entire layout of the “WTAB,” at least thats how the word looks in Russian.

    Chris Smith…I guess if he does a Google search of his name he will find 1000s of hits with a common moniker like that. I was talking to Adam about that guy right before the Las Vegas Shanghai last July. I surmised that the man might be dead. To say the least, he was one of the most prolific creeps I have ever met. The last time I talked to him was on AOL IM. He got pissed off because I asked him about the vandalism he committed the day before he flew out away from the army.

  6. Eddie and his hepetitis…I was a good guy when he came back w/ the news, then he went into the story and I sat there stupified…sex with a prostitute w/out a condom the day he graduated from basic. Not even tragic…more like how I feel when the trailers for Jackass 2 are on the TV.

    They should conduct studies at DLI and track the level of stupidity and itchy privates…

  7. S. R. says:

    From what I’ve heard from Hoat, the army has sucked all of the life out of that place with a big syringe. Then trying to save some money, they used it to test for chlamydia.

    Soliders there are still brash and egoistic. Female soliders there are still dumpy and sexless. This is what I’ve observed personally in the past couple of years when I’ve visited the place.

  8. black dog says:

    My good friend Killogrm is a genius software engineer and gets flustered all the time. Everytime he comes to my house the Playstation II crashes when he touches the controller. Its amazing and it happens every single time we try to play then he drops the contoller and starts shaking and babbling. Hes about to shoot for his masters and doctorate and still doesnt know what hes doing according to him. When we talk computers I feel like the grave digger guy always asking to use the crapper at NASA.

  9. menace and black dog – thanks, I do feel a lot better about it now (TURNED IN MY LAST ASSIGNMENT THIS AFTERNOON! – – – came upstairs and Heather’s mom was over, told her I’d just finished the semester 10 seconds ago, she tells me there’s a package outside the front door…books for next semester, 8 days away, ugh)

    cm, here’s the code I was fussing over, finally got it yesterday:

    /*
    * Student.java
    *
    * Created on September 21, 2006, 1:28 PM
    * Needed for Classroom.java
    */

    public class Student {

    public String studentName;
    public String studentAddress;
    public String studentId;
    public String studentGpa;
    public String studentAssignment;
    public String studentGrade;
    // Default constructor.
    public Student() {
    }

    // This is the constructor for the Student object.
    public Student (String name, String address, String id, String gpa, String assignment, String grade) {
    studentName = name;
    studentAddress = address;
    studentId = id;
    studentGpa = gpa;
    studentAssignment = assignment;
    studentGrade = grade;
    }

    // Prints out student information.
    public void printStudent() {
    System.out.println (“————————————————-“);
    System.out.println(“Student:” + “\t” + studentName);
    System.out.println(“Address:” + “\t” + this.studentAddress);
    System.out.println(“Student ID:” + “\t” + this.studentId);
    System.out.println(“GPA:” + “\t” + this.studentGpa);
    System.out.println(“Assignment: ” + this.studentAssignment + ” Grade: ” + this.studentGrade);
    System.out.println();
    }

    }

    import java.util.*;

    public class Classroom {

    /** Creates a new instance of Classroom */
    public Classroom() {
    }

    public static void main(String[] args) {

    Vector classroom = new Vector();

    // Student Roster
    Student newStudent1 = new Student(“Steve Irwin”, “Glass House Mountains Tourist Drive, Beerwah, Queensland 4519, Australia”, “555-ER-2006”, “4.0”, “History and Care of Crocodiles”, “A”);
    Student newStudent2 = new Student(“Clarabelle Vermuth”, “123 Anystreet, Petticoat Junction, TN 45125”, “398-ER-2006”, “3.75”, “History of Petticoats”, “B-“);
    Student newStudent3 = new Student(“Joe Suza”, “123 Willow St., San Jose, CA 95125”, “975-ER-2006”, “2.76”, “History of Beer”, “C”);
    Student newStudent4 = new Student(“Jessica Lynch”, “1 Old Blueberry Way, Elizabeth, WV 24753”, “020-ER-2006”, “3.15”, “History of Whittling”, “B”);
    Student newStudent5 = new Student(“Duddly Moore”, “593 F St., Buffalo, NY 95125”, “001-ER-2006”, “1.75”, “History of Um.. I Forgot.”, “F”);

    // File into the classroom and be seated. (Add student objects to vector collection)
    classroom.add(newStudent1);
    classroom.add(newStudent2);
    classroom.add(newStudent3);
    classroom.add(newStudent4);
    classroom.add(newStudent5);
    // Guarding against Exceptions..
    try {

    for(int i=0; i < classroom.size() ; i++) { // This checks to see what type the object is supposed to be before we recast it. Object possibleStudent = classroom.elementAt(i); if ( possibleStudent instanceof Student) { // If it is, then recast the object as a pupil of the classroom. // We recast the object element because when we retrieve objects from a vector, // they get typed as object and not what they originally were. Student pupil = (Student) possibleStudent; // Then print it. pupil.printStudent(); } // If the object isn't a member of the class, then say so. else { System.out.println("This object is not a student."); } } // this catch just means that it has reached the end of the array } catch(ArrayIndexOutOfBoundsException aioobe) { } } } I'm making my way through that link you posted, and it's quite soothing amidst a day of nerve-wracking bullshit like 3 I had this past week!

  10. Killogrm – – – interesting name – was that spelled correctly?

  11. S. R. says:

    Al, that looks like Cyrillic.

    I have seen Dog use that name before, and it is spelled the same way everytime. A pseudonym.

  12. It’s something alright – – – so these Bakersfield blogs are cool…you should hop on over to Shaddow of Diogenes and see how I ragged on Paul over Rolling Barrage and Clemson losing AGAIN to BC. Maybe he’ll come around and get over whatever the hell happened. Then again, I may have put the nail in the coffin.

  13. black dog says:

    Killogrm is spelled right. Hes from bako but in the bay area now. He was on the internet like in ’94 or maybe even earlier than that. He sold me my first PC in ’96 and I hammered it.

  14. S. R. says:

    Yep. Only a matter of time before N. L. is commenting over here too.

    I’ve seen Dobbler comment here a few times. Not once on my blog ever.

    Man, I hadn’t been to SOD is months. Still the same. tried to do a search on Paul’s blog to see if he had written anything about the Barrage’s demise. Alas, nothing. I’d ask Paul himself but I doubt he’d answer me.

  15. captain_menace says:

    Cool

    Good to be done eh, if only for a short time. No rest for the wicked.

    The java looks interesting. How do you run it? What development environment are you using?

    The for loop is syntaxed exactly like a javascript loop.

    Oh man, Rolling Barrage… whatever happened to that cesspool of a blog? You know I really try to be a nice guy, but Washington was a jackass, plain and simple. Poor political reasoning (in my opinion of course), and a liar on top of it. Oh well, I think that somehow I will be able to make it through life without Rolling Barrage.

    Off to see if I can stay awake through the movie I rented… The Propostion. I’ve $5 that says I don’t make it 15 minutes.

  16. Heh – – – I was using NetBeans, but the amount of memory it was using prevented me from making changes on the fly and experimenting…started to lag big time, so instead I’m now using JCreator, which is much more gentle to my piece of shit PC.

    As for the ‘for loop’…I think the universal interpretation of how this function operates lends to the similarities in how it’s coded. Good thing too, as unlike other industries, it seems that proprietary interests in regards to programming languange, database administration and netowrking were tossed out a long time ago in lieu of simplicity.

    Just started reading my Database Systems textbook last night…I came to terms with the fact that I’m a geek a long time ago, and learned to embrace it with both arms…so this textbook is reading like a novel. In the army I worked with databases a great deal and saw how archaic ones differed from newer ones…now I’m starting to get the correct terminology and a timeline established in my head to coorespond with that experience. SO EXCITING…(I’m so lucky that I’m already with a mate and kids!)

  17. Yea, Paul is ignoring us most likely – – – I’ll just chime in once a year when Clemson loses to BC and leave it at that. Maybe one of these days he’ll decide to stop wearing women’s underwear.

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