First Father’s Day, Game Five

Halftime of game five, series tied at 2-2, game tied at 42-42, belly full following my first ever Father’s Day dinner, my twin boys yet unborn are sending me messages about convincing mama to go in on some ice cream and how they need me to settle an argument about who’s better, Parker or Billups? “Dwayne Wade”, I reply. ‘He’s a shooting guard, doesn’t count.’ ‘Yea, and he’s not even in the game daddy.’ “OK…Ben Wallace…ask your mother.”

I say Billups and it’s two on one, and that’s not fair. Plus, I’ve got to build up some credibility with these kids. I pick Billups right there and he leads a fast break, dribbles it behind his back for no reason at all, turns it over. Wallace just put up an airball. Perhaps I need to approach this different, ask myself ‘what would Hank Hill do in this situation?’ It’s basketball, so he’s asleep already.

Heather says, “Well, our boys aren’t going to be born on Father’s Day.” ‘There’s still an hour and ten minutes to go.’ “The summer solstice is Tuesday and if they’re born after that, they’ll be Cancers.” I have no idea what she’s talking about, but our cat Cleo does and she thinks if they were born on the longest day of the year it would make sense. Ah, did you hear that boys? Cleo’s talking crap already and you haven’t pulled her tail once yet.

Bowen and Hamilton have this thing going on with each other like they’re both ten year old versions of Claude Lemieux. Bowen hits a screen down low and gives Rip an elbow in the hip that the ref calls, but the ‘Sports Illustrated photo moment’ is Hamilton pointing the finger at Bowen while looking at the ref with a ‘Hey, d’you see what he just did!’ look on his face. It’s kind of like jumping into a time machine and fast forwarding a few years, disputes of kidney shots and ‘all ball all ball’, or before that even – Mine! – Give it here! – Front seat, I called it!!!

“I love Ben Wallace’s hairdo, makes him look a lot taller”, “How old do you think Hamilton is? 23?” I love watching games with Heather. She’s asking the boys how they’re doing, ‘Billups is the man – ma, how about some ice cream?’ ‘Spurs up by one after three.’ ‘So what? Parker’s not doing that good.’ Cleo’s telling me I need to take control here, so I say “Manu Ginoboli.”

Bill Lambier’s mug appears on the screen and I’m suddenly considering it sacrilege to be rooting for the Pistons. I distract the boys who are still bickering about nothing, “You see that man on the screen? A long time ago he made daddy cry.” ‘Why?’ “Well, he played a long time ago against the Celtics when they had Larry Bird. He’s a bad man, the worst cheater I’ve ever seen.” ‘Who’s Larry Bird?’

I’ve got butterflies in my stomach.

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5 Responses to First Father’s Day, Game Five

  1. Leah says:

    Great posting Chris, I could actually read it and understand what you were saying! Oh yeah the by the way if you want a companion in the deliverly room! I will be right there! Happy first fathers day! Your going to be a great dad!

    Love Leah

  2. Two concepts to remember with your new children, the first is tax credit and the second is tax deduction. Learn it, live it :- )

  3. Chris Austin says:

    I surely will my friend. The fine print and I are going to become very well acquainted.

  4. Eric Bonwell says:

    Chris, excellent article…did you happen to catch Hamilton giving Bowens a fake slap to the face…couldn’t believe that. Bowens really gets under the skin of some good players. Hamilton, Carmello Anthony, Ray Allen, Kobe Bryant…all these guys have complained about the way he plays…you know some where in those stands Lambier is standing tall and proud…those where my moves, he thinks to himself….i used to be the dirtiest player in the league! oh yea, you’ll make a great dad….and it soed make sense for them to be born on the longest day of the year…would have been cool if it was on Fathers day though too!

  5. Chris Austin says:

    Thanks Eric – I love the way Bowens plays. He’s a guy like Rick Fox, the 5th man who plays the toughest D, and if he scores points, it’s a bonus. What always hits me on the forhead is how athletic the guy is. Not much is said about this, but he can MOVE! He blocked Billups’s drive at the end of the game. It was like Pops had him penciled in as the ‘secret weapon’, and it worked. I didn’t like that call at the end of OT for Brown…it’s been his shortfall this entire playoff, as even in the Miami series on key half court posessions, the first option would be Ben! On that last posession with Bowen on Billups, the play should have involved Hamilton on a pick and pop with Prince behind the arc and both Wallaces inside. Instead Hamilton was a decoy…but for what purpose? The best defender is on the ball, so why use the guy whose arguably your best scorer as a decoy? You use a guy as a decoy to draw the strength of the defense to a place it doesn’t want to be – – – but if Bowen is on Billups, Hamilton acting as a decoy does nothing for you. And as we saw, defense beats good offense…it’s always the same in any sport you watch, and that play alone could be what wins the Spurs the championship.

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