Going to break out of my dark routine for a day on the blog, and let the geek surface for a while. Like with stocks, politics, sports and music, I’ve got a chip on my shoulder that drives me towards figuring out how stupid we humans truly are, especially in terms of the crap we blow money on. Went to see my doctor today and everything’s fine, but I wanted to run something by him about suppliments and vitamins. Having known for a while (mostly from having done Atkins a while back for about six months) that most of the nutrients we consume get eliminated through urination, it’s always baffled me how millions of us blow money on pills we buy in the store. Not me – I’m a skeptical bastard, and that money needs to go towards maintaining my alcoholism and crack addiction.
That said, it does seem like as I get older, the fear of dying before retirement has become a much more prominent factor in my dreaming, REM sleep or otherwise. The people I see walking around this country, the flab, all the news reports about diabetics and folks being removed from their house by equipment sold by Caterpillar…like the mother from ‘What’s Eating Gilbert Grape’…I’ll never get that bad, but when these kids start talking back, who knows? Maybe that’s when people start pounding Skittles and sneaking off to McDonalds every day.
So if I’m eating good, getting exercise and sticking to only 2 rocks and a fifth of tequilla a day, what else should I add to the temple to make sure I end up enjoying wrinkles and prostate exams for a couple decades before I die? Researched it, and if I were to start a regimine of vitamins, I wouldn’t be able to look at myself in the mirror. Might as well also start buying ink cartridges, tainted saline solution and lottery tickets while I’m at it.
I’ve got this Natural Sciences CLEP exam coming up in a week or so (last one I have to pass before becoming a Junior), and while studying human cells was reminded that in terms of assimilation, carbs and fat have a VIP entrance through the outer layer, because the cells immediately identify them as sources of energy. What about the calcium in a bottle of vitamins? My doctor says most of that will bounce off and end up in the kamode, that for the most part, it’s best to try getting those types of minerals in something that the cells will know to absorb right away…like taking the pill with a glass of orange juice.
Sounds alright, but still doesn’t make the price of a bottle of Centrum look any better. Perhaps if I ate a handfull all at once, twice a week, while standing on my head? Instead of orange juice, eat them with maple syrup. The only thing on the net that seems to make any sense at all is ‘fructose compounding’, where the nutrients are bonded to fructose, so the cells let it walk right in. Nothing in the aisle of Stop and Shop where I buy my melatonin mentions it. There’re products on ebay, but I’ll keep my eye peeled for a news story or something else on it before spending money.
Does this make sense to anyone out there? Lurkers – (some of whom I KNOW are scientists or involved in science-based jobs) – is there something concrete about this method? From the links below I gather it was developed in 1989, and “on paper” it makes sense. That can be said for a lot of other things on the market today. If anyone has something to add it would be greatly appreciated!
I’m a little rusty, but I believe that cells accept glucose as part of the Kreb’s Cycle in order to turn it chemically into ATP for energy. I’m no pharmacist so I don’t know about fructose compunding. However, I’m sure something that revolutionary would’ve been put into practice on a widespread level.
I think the trick is to sprinkle just a little fairy dust on every pill you swallow. This causes the little leprechauns who actually control your body to feel very euphoric. Soon they have the munchies, and they will begin to tear into anything that comes their way. So it’s at this point that the pills are easily absorbed. Very simple really. I believe Keebler first stumbled upon this phenomenon when he was trying to isolate the 5 primary ingredients in the ever-elusive elfin magic.
It’s worked for me. I don’t look at day over 60 and I’m only 35.
“Fructose Compounding” is available exclusively through a company based in Idaho. If you are serious about obtaining their “fructose compounding” nutritional supplements you may visit their website at: Melaleuca.com.
If you’re interested in becoming a customer I can refer you as a customer and help process you membership.
Email me at [email protected] if you decide to.
Lizzy
HA! Lizzy – thank you!!!
What happened was, another reader (a lurker) saw this and emailed me a couple weeks ago. I’m trying to wrap my head around how I’d never heard of this company before now, then the marketing material comes in the mail. This company is great…did some research on the CEO and he’s a smart guy!
The growth of this company over the past couple years has been incredible, although I’ve yet to try that many of their products (wasn’t interested in investing in the ‘value pack’ right off – money’s tight), but the pills I’ve got seem to make me feel like I’m 10 years younger.
Now, they’ve got the patent on this method…how long before that’s up and the rest of the market can sell vitamins and suplements made with this process?
It is true that Melaleuca is the only place you can find the fructose compounding.
Be carefull to do your research. All vitamin and mineral delivery systems come under attack.
Fructose compounding is the only one that makes sense to me.
Same here – – – – I think Congress is going to be looking into the vitamin and supplement industry in 2007.
If you really look into it, other companies now offer fructose compounding. Melaleuca was not the first. I am cancelling my membership. It is a pyramid scheme. You have to spend about $60-70 a month to fulfill membership. Not nall of their “natural” products are natural. They are constantly changing things and rewording….be careful. Check with our locaal healthfood store.
oh yeah, my email is [email protected]. I will not try to get you to join!