Let’s face it…my best writing ends up scattered across the net, in comments, message boards, skanky cyber-bathroom walls (my best limericks are the stuff of #2s miles away from home, so says my $30/hr life coach Murma…I know that sounds unnecessary, but the guy’s also a whiz at forging documents)…so here’s a recent one.
The Trader’s Den Politics Fourum – “What Will Iraq Become?”
deadissue: I think this depends mostly on whether or not Muhammad descends from the heavens and says once and for all whether his son or nephew or whoever should have been his heir…
Sunni and Shiites have disagreed on this point forever. Willing to blow each other up. That’s the deal in Iraq…widespread ignorance, futility and prayer.
I predict a regional war that we’ll hear little about once our troops are out. At that point our government will pick a side they like the most and sell them twice as many weapons as we sell the other side.
A hundred years from now, we’ll be rich off of the guns, and they’ll still be debating with hand grenades over which descendant of Muhammad is going to float down from the sky one day.
If you think I’m joking, just look it up. It’s true.
Starman714 points out, “…but we’re leaving out the pissed-off-at-the-West factions and the fact that they are bound to strike our soil again for this…”
deadissue: Most of whom don’t know what an electron is, let alone enough to launch operations across the globe against us. Let’s not give these people too much credit. They were burning down their own neighborhoods over a cartoon a few weeks ago.
9/11 was a perfect storm if you will. A beurocracy caught naping, ignoring clue after clue, until finally a bucket of ice water gets thrown on it. Since then, Osama has provided hope to the same nitwits who were going to believe whatever they were told anyway, and a slice of the dirt poor who had nothing better to do until they saw a foreign tank driven by a white guy roll down their street.
I think they got lucky, very lucky.
The threat of terrorism is usefull to certain people, for the same reason it’s usefull to Osama. Get’s the people around you on board with just about anything you’ve got to say. Personally, I think a lot of people living in the Middle East are silly.
More broadly, all threats are useful to SOME people.
The threat of a “stupid” population is good for education advocates.
The threat of global warming is great for climatologists (lots of reports and studies to conduct).
The threat of a cold winter is good for natural gas companies.
And on and on.
And if your smart (in an evolutionary sense) you’ll always capitalize on a threat when it can favor your position. Because if you don’t someone else will.
The retort to Starman714…perfect.
Let’s hope Murma the Life Coach doesn’t spread rumors on your propensity and talent for cunnilingus. HA!
Wisenheimer, I’m afraid to ask how you know about Chris’s acquaintance with good old Colonel Angus.
When you’re in an Army unit, guys tend to divulge details they otherwise wouldn’t in normal circumstances…although, I don’t remember this particular conversation…then again, a 40oz Old English was $.79 cents back then.
Starman was with me on that one, I snipped his question in a way that the context was removed. The question was the only relevant piece to use for the post.
Good point about 9/11 being the perfect storm, maybe a more competent administration would have stopped 9/11, just a thought.
Yeah, I’ve read all about you Army guys…
I guess all it takes is a little Old English eh?
😉
Good point about 9/11 being the perfect storm, maybe a more competent administration would have stopped 9/11, just a thought.
All the planning and preparation happened during all of Clintons two terms. Are you finanly ready to admit Clinton was an absolute and total domestic security and foreign policy failure??? Bush in office 8 months, Clinton 8 years.
A memo titled “Bin Laden to Attack…” didn’t tip them off? I suppose Clinton is responsible for the Iraq war now as well?
I suppose Clinton is responsible for the Iraq war now as well?
I lay all the blame squarely at the feet of Donald Rumsfeld. He could have whipped out a dagger and jabbed it into Hussein’s heart back in the mid-80’s when they met face-to-face and enjoyed the pleasure of eachother’s company.
Actually, Dan Rather had an opportunity to do the same right before the invasion, although he might have been thoroughly frisked (and probed) before his interview with Hussein. So, I’ll go with 75% Rumsfeld’s fault, and 25% Dan Rather’s fault. They both need a good spanking.
Be careful RT. Will you cast blame on Bush WHEN we get hit again on our own soil? As far as I can tell we’re just as vulnerable as we ever have been. Although those TSA guys do a heck of a job… stealing from luggage 😉
A memo titled “Bin Laden to Attack…” didn’t tip them off?
I can write a memo title “Iran to Nuke Europe” but I don’t expect anyone to take me seriously. How was anyone supposed to know, in advance, that this “memo” was the right one. Tell me who will win the next superbowl and I’ll concede Bush should be psychic.
I suppose Clinton is responsible for the Iraq war now as well?
If Clinton had done his job then we probably woudn’t have needed to go to Iraq. Hell, could be leaving Iraq right now if Clinton weren’t such a failure. Clinton fumbled soo much internationally, N. korea, Sudan, Somalia, just about everywhere outside the U.S. His Palestinian peace accords are garbage. Can you name anything Clinton did right over seas?
Be careful RT. Will you cast blame on Bush WHEN we get hit again on our own soil?
I would have to say yes, in part. Half to Bush but the other half to liberals. The NYT ruined the Terrorist surveilence program that had been secret until the NYT though it would be a great idea to help terrorists avoid detection before they kill us. Thanks NYT, Osama owes you a debt of gratitutde!!!!
The difference is that you are not a paid intelligence professional. The memo was drafted by our own intelligence community.
That’s ludicrous. You don’t think terrorists are doing their best to avoid detection regardless of whether or not the NYT reports that we are spying on communications activity. Give me a break. Bin Laden is much more savvy than that or he would have been captured already. Gosh I hope the NYT doesn’t run a piece on the Iraq war, Bin Laden might find out that we have troops over there.
So, I guess along the same lines, if nothing happens on our soil then the Deocrats can share some of the credit for authorizing the Iraq invasion by Congressional vote?
RT, I actually think you’re a liberal who is simply suffering from self-hatred. It probably all started way back in 1985 when some Molly Ringwald-looking hotty made fun of you in health class. It’s alright to cry, crying gets the sad out of you.
Actually, I was referencing Sopranos. The guy who “is good at forging documents” told Christopher Moltisanti how Vito Spatafore was seen in a flaming gay bar – a fellator. Also, a rumor like this spread in a past season when word got around about how well Junior Soprano pleasured his girlfriend.
This is true – – – and she got a pie in the face over that! Sucks to be her, I mean, look at Junior now…she missed out.
Murma is turning out to be a cool character. Due for an asskicking, but who on Sopranos isn’t?
Look, it’s widely known that RT was robbed by a junky ten years ago, and the guy was wearing a Clinton/Gore button.
True story…I evaded certain arrest one night a long time ago when my friend explained to the cop that I was (________) because a long time ago I had to watch my father get beaten by police…that I get so nervous around po-po, it might look like I’m halucinating when I’m really just scared.
Yes…these traumatic experiences, whether real or not, can have lasting detrimental effects on someone’s mind…
Hey dudes, please don’t blow any Soprano secrets. I don’t have HBO and will have to wait for the DVD. I’ve been ruined the last two seasons!
Holy sh*t man! I can’t believe it. I was cruising with my father in his patrol car one night and watched him beat the cheerios out of some unsuspecting and law-abiding American for no good reason. This poor sap’s creepy little kid was standing right there grinning through it all. What a twisted little sh*t that kid was.
That was the same night we broke into the meat plant and made sausage all night long.
menace – if you send me the blank disks, I’ll get them for you.
Anybody watch thief? The most likebale charactor on the show is the chinees hit man. The daughter has to go.
This is going to be interesting:
MEXICO CITY – Mexicans would be allowed to possess small amounts of cocaine, heroin, even ecstasy for their personal use under a bill approved by lawmakers that some worry could prove to be a lure to young Americans.
The bill now only needs President Vicente Fox’s signature to become law and that does not appear to be an obstacle. His office said that decriminalizing drugs will free up police to focus on major dealers.
Seems like Mexico is going to start taking a commoin sense approach to drugs. I wonder when the US is going to join the devoloping world and do the same.
Thanks for the offer Chris, any particular variety of DVD disc you recommend?
Karl, that is pretty interesting. Could this be the beginning of a massive reverse migration of Americans into Mexico?
What a relief for us travellers too. I thought I was going to jail in Puerto Vallarta once. It was a classic set up. A Mexican guy on the beach was going to sell us some weed. He showed us just a little bud to demonstrate the quality. We gave him the money and he gave us a wad of newspaper and told us not to open it on the beach. If we had we would have instantly known that he just burned us. Anyway, as we walked away we saw a couple of police white hats approaching us. There were a ton of tourists on the beach, but these guys were looking right at us as they walked in our direction. Sure enough they grabbed us and walked us to a side alley. They busted us for the measley little bud that their accomplice had given us. What a perfect setup. On the bright side, it only cost us $90 U.S. (plus the cost of the weed, I forget what that was) to get ourselves out of the mess. And in the end they let us keep the bud ;). They told us that it was nothing personal, just business. Quite an introduction to the Mexican legal/business system. The same cops stopped us the very next night. Nothing personal, just business.
Oh crap RT, NYT has done it again.
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/04/28/world/middleeast/28cnd-terror.html?hp&ex=1146283200&en=44d5b2dbc1227096&ei=5094&partner=homepage
Doesn’t the NYT editorial staff know that they are only supposed to print stuff that supports the terrorist agenda? What were they thinking when they decided to print this piece that is critical of insurgents? Damn liberal media!
captain – didn’t get to read it all yet, but I’m emailing you w/ the details
Mexico is setting itself up to be a tourist destination much like Amsterdam only closer to the US. It will be interesting to see how the Morals police try to stop this. I am betting some sort of drug test before you can re-eneter the US, at least I bet someone nut job will suggest it.
The drug war really is what led to the demise of the US. THX Reagan
Colberts opening:
Thank you ladies and gentlemen. Before I begin, I’ve been asked to make an announcement. Whoever parked 14 black bullet proof S.U.V.’S out front, could you please move them. They are blocking in 14 other black bulletproof S.U.V.’S and they need to get out.
Wow, wow, what an honor. The White House correspondents’ dinner. To just sit here, at the same table with my hero, George W. Bush, to be this close to the man. I feel like I’m dreaming. Somebody pinch me. You know what; I’m a pretty sound sleeper that may not be enough. Somebody shoot me in the face.
Is he really not here tonight? The one guy who could have helped. By the way, before I get started, if anybody needs anything at their tables, speak slowly and clearly on into your table numbers and somebody from the N.S.A. Will be right over with a cocktail. Mrs. Smith, ladies and gentlemen of the press corps,
Mr. President and first lady, my name is Stephen Colbert and it’s my privilege tonight to celebrate our president. He’s no so different, he and I. We get it. We’re not brain backs on the nerd patrol. We’re not members of the fact (police). We go straight from the gut, right sir? That’s where the truth lies, right down here in the gut. Do you know you have more nerve endings in your gut than you have in your head? You can look it up. I know some of you are going to say I did look it up, and that’s not true. That’s but you looked it up in a book.
Next time look it up in your gut. I did. My gut tells me that’s how our nervous system works. Every night on my show, the Colbert Report, I speak straight from the gut, ok? I give people the truth, unfiltered by rational argument. I call it the no fact zone. Fox news, I own the copyright on that term.
I’m a simple man with a simple mind, with a simple set of beliefs that I live by. Number one, I believe in America. I believe it exists.
My gut tells me I live there. I feel that it extends from the Atlantic to the Pacific, and I strongly believe it has 50 states. And I cannot wait to see how “The Washington Post” spins that one tomorrow. I believe in democracy. I believe democracy is our greatest export. At least until China figures out a way to stamp it out in plastic for three cents a unit.
In fact, ambassador, welcome, your great country makes our happy meals possible. I said it’s a celebration. I believe the government that governs best is the government that governs least.
And by these standards, we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq. I believe in pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps. I believe it is possible — I saw this guy do it once in Cirque du Soleil. It was magical. And though I am a committed Christian, I believe that everyone has the right to their own religion, be it Hindu, Jewish or Muslim. I believe our infinite paths to accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior.
Ladies and gentlemen, I believe its yogurt. But I refuse to believe it’s not butter. Most of all I believe in this president.
Now, I know there are some polls out there saying this man has a 32% approval rating. But guys like us; we don’t pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in “reality.” And reality has a well-known liberal bias.
So, Mr. President, pay no attention to the people that say the glass is half full. 32% means the glass — it’s important to set up your jokes properly, sir. Sir, pay no attention to the people who say the glass is half empty, because 32% means its 2/3 empty. There’s still some liquid in that glass is my point, but I wouldn’t drink it. The last third is usually backwash. Folks, my point are that I don’t believe this is a low point in this presidency. I believe it is just a lull, before a comeback.
I mean, it’s like the movie “Rocky.” The president is Rocky and Apollo Creed is everything else in the world. It’s the 10th round. He’s bloodied, his corner man, Mick, who in this case would be the vice president, and he’s yelling cut me, dick, cut me, and every time he falls she say stay down! Does he stay down? No. Like rocky he gets back up and in the end he — actually loses in the first movie.
Ok. It doesn’t matter. The point is the heart warming story of a man who was repeatedly bunched in the face — punched in the face. So don’t pay attention to the approval ratings that say 68% of Americans disapprove of the job this man is doing. I ask you this, does that not also logically mean that 68% approve of the job he’s not doing? Think about it.
I haven’t. I stand by this man. I stand by this man because he stands for things. Not only for things, has he stood on things. Things like aircraft carriers and rubble and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message, that no matter what happens to America, she will always rebound with the most powerfully staged photo ops in the world.
Now, there may be an energy crisis. This president has a very forward-thinking energy policy. Why do you think he’s down on the ranch cutting that brush all the time? He’s trying to create an alternative energy source. By 2008 we will have a mesquite powered car.
And I just like the guy. He’s a good Joe. Obviously loves his wife, calls her his better half. And polls show America agrees. She’s a true lady and a wonderful woman. But I just have one beef, ma’am.
I’m sorry, but this reading initiative. I’ve never been a fan of books. I don’t trust them. They’re all fact, no heart. I mean, they’re elitist telling us what is or isn’t true, what did or didn’t happen. What’s Britannica to tell me the Panama Canal was built in 1914? If I want to say it was built in 1941, that’s my right as an American. I’m with the president, let history decide what did or did not happen.
The greatest thing about this man is he’s steady. You know where he stands. He believes the same thing Wednesday, that he believed on Monday, no matter what happened Tuesday. Events can change, this man’s beliefs never will. And as excited as I am to be here with the president, I am appalled to be surrounded by the liberal media that is destroying America, with the exception of fox news.
Fox News gives you sides of every story, the president’s side and the vice president’s side.
>> But the rest of you, what are you thinking, reporting on N.S.A. Wiretapping or secret prisons in Eastern Europe? Those things are secret for a very important reason, they’re super depressing.
>> And if that’s your goal, well, misery accomplished. Over the last five years you people were so good over tax cuts, W.M.D. Intelligence, the affect of global warms. We Americans didn’t want to know, and you had the courtesy not to try to find out. Those were good times, as far as we knew.
But, listen, let’s review the rules. Here’s how it works. The president makes decisions, he’s the decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Put them through a spell check and go home. Get to know your family again. Make love to your wife. Write that novel you got kicking around in your head. You know the one about the intrepid Washington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration. You know fiction.
>> Because really, what incentive do these people have to answer your questions, after all? I mean, nothing satisfies you. Everybody asks for personnel changes. So the white house has personnel changes. Then you write they’re just rearranging the deck chairs on the titanic. First of all, that is a terrible metaphor. This ships not sinking.
This administration is soaring. If anything, they are rearranging the deck chairs on The Hindenburg…
>> Now, it’s not all bad guys out there. Some heroes, Buckley, Kim Schieffer. By the way, Mr. President, thank you for agreeing to be to my show. I was just as shocked as everyone here is I promise you. How is Tuesday…tonight?
General Mosley, Air Force Chief of Staff. General Peter Pace. They still support Rumsfeld. You guys aren’t retired yet, right? Right, they still support Rumsfeld. Look, by the way, I’ve got a theory about how to handle these retired generals causing all this trouble, don’t let them retire. C’mon, we’ve got a stop loss program; let’s use it on these guys. If you’re strong enough to go on one of those pundit shows, you can stand on a bank of computers and order men into battle.
C’mon. Jesse Jackson is here. I had him on the show. Very interesting and challenging interview. You can ask him anything, but he’s going to say what he wants at the pace that he wants.
>> It’s like boxing a glacier. Enjoy that metaphor, because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is.
>> Justice Scalia’s here. May I be the first to say welcome, sir. You look fantastic. How are you?
>>
John McCain is here. John McCain – John McCain. What a maverick. Somebody find out what fork he used on his salad, because I guarantee you it wasn’t a salad fork. He could have used a spoon. There’s no predicting him. So wonderful to see you coming back into the republican fold. I have a summer house in South Carolina; look me up when you go to speak at bob Jones University. So glad you’ve seen the light.
Mayor Nagin is here from New Orleans, the chocolate city. Yeah, give it up. Mayor Nagin, I would like to welcome you to Washington, D.C., The chocolate city with a marshmallow center. >> And a graham cracker crust of corruption. It’s a mala march is what I’m describing, a seasonal cookie.
Joe Wilson is here, the most famous husband since Dezi Arnez. And of course he brought along his lovely wife Valerie Plame. Oh, my god! >> Oh, what have I said? I am sorry, Mr. President, I meant to say he brought along his lovely wife, Pat Fitzgerald is not here tonight?
Dodged a bullet.
And we can’t forget man of the hour, new press secretary, Tony Snow. Secret service name, snow job. What a hero, took the second toughest job in government, next to, of course, the ambassador to Iraq.
>> Got some big shoes to fill, Tony. Scott McClellan too say nothing like nobody else. McClellan, eager to retire. Really felt like he needed to spend more time with Andrew Card’s children. Mr. President, I wish you hadn’t made the decision to quickly, sir.
I was vying for the job. I think I would have made a fabulous press secretary. I have nothing but contempt for these people. I know how to handle these clowns. In fact, sir, I brought along an audition tape and with your indulgence, I’d like to at least give it a shot. So, ladies and gentlemen, my press conference.
Sweet! Can’t believe Bush sat there through that. This guy is brilliant…his interview with Bill Kristol was the best thing I’ve seen in a while.
From Washingtonmonthly regarding NSA wiretapping:
It’s the largest database ever assembled in the world,” said one person, who, like the others who agreed to talk about the NSA’s activities, declined to be identified by name or affiliation. The agency’s goal is “to create a database of every call ever made” within the nation’s borders, this person added.
….Last year…Bush insisted that the NSA was focused exclusively on international calls. “In other words,” Bush explained, “one end of the communication must be outside the United States.”
….Sources, however, say that is not the case. With access to records of billions of domestic calls, the NSA has gained a secret window into the communications habits of millions of Americans. Customers’ names, street addresses and other personal information are not being handed over as part of NSA’s domestic program, the sources said. But the phone numbers the NSA collects can easily be cross-checked with other databases to obtain that information.
Ah…the Constitution is overrated!
Who needs the constition when we have the bible.
Couldn’t have said it better myself. Toss out the laws we have now, and start throwing folks in jail for not “doing unto others as you’d have done unto you”…
Actually…if we did that, there wouldn’t be any Republicans left over.
“One big telecommunications company, Qwest, has refused to turn over records to the program, the newspaper said, because of privacy and legal concerns.”
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060511/ap_on_go_pr_wh/nsa_phone_records_18;_ylt=Amfn0t3UMhV17m4p7BCNjjDB4FkB;_ylu=X3oDMTBiMW04NW9mBHNlYwMlJVRPUCUl
Get Qwest on the record alongside AT&T, Verizon and Bell South when the Judiciary Committee hearing takes place.
Why would one corporation (the smaller one) decline, while the others handed over the keys? The truth is…as I see it, that AT&T, Verizon and Bell South DON’T EVEN KNOW what the NSA is pulling, since the government operative has a locked room that only he/she can enter.
That may be the hitch here, as these corporations will show up and say, “what goes on behind that door, I couldn’t say” – – – so then it’ll be the Judiciary Committee asking NSA personell to testify, and the stone wall will be put up.
Recently, the NSA striped the security clearances of Justice Department officials investigating this matter.
It’s an ‘absolute power’ situation. The president orders the NSA to operate outside of the law, and when an investigation is launched, whoever’s assigned to carry it out is striped of their security clearance. Justice Department officials and the inspector general’s office complain to…who? AG Gonzalez?
This is something that’s not supposed to happen in our system. The entire credibility of our government goes out the window when inspector general offices cannot do their job.
So I guess this makes Qwest a terrorists best frind in the communications world. That will be an interesting marketing piece. Maybe they can get the uni-bomber as their spokesman.
Terrorists do account for 25% of their revenue…but the same can be said for some of our arms manufacturers.
If the government comes into my business without a warrant, my understanding is that you can either choose to hand over what they want, or not. The government doesn’t have an inherent right to this information, but if they ask and are given access, then where’s the crime?
What concerns me most about this is that the NSA operates within these transfer stations, in a locked room that nobody from within the company can access. So who knows what they’re doing…
Who knows if one of these spooks is snooping on an ex-girlfriend? How about a political candidate? It could happen, and nobody would know.
What concerns me most about this is that the NSA operates within these transfer stations, in a locked room that nobody from within the company can access. So who knows what they’re doing…
What would theybe doing? Looking at porno? I don’t see the big deal here. NSA guys locked in a room, they can’t listen to 100,000 phone calls at the same time. They can’t even process all the data that flows through. So, what’s the big deal?
They surely can process all of that data. Eschelon enables them to scan insane amounts of calls…if you tweak the parameters to pick up on different words, the sky’s the limit. Let’s say the NSA wanted to look into someone’s phone activity…they could use that program to pull audio. As far as the call records are concerned, as long as the data is imported correctly, search parameters can be set to track just about anything in terms of who is calling who and how often.
Right – the technology may not be perfect, but my gut tells me that this period of time we’re living right now is to make it perfect. Now, if that’s the goal, then why not just state it up front? If the exercise is about a vision for the future that has something to do with safety, with GOP control of both houses…what’s the hitch?
That’s the thing…if it was so on the up and up, then these details could be provided up front.
The argument that by doing so, we’re allowing terrorists to learn about what we’re doing…that’s pretty lame considering the fact that drug dealers all over the country already avoid using the phone to conduct business. It’s no secret that criminals talking about their business on the phone are STUPID criminals.
The days of assuming these people are stupid should have been over with in 2001.
Maybe Wal-mart is not all bad:
By MELANIE WARNER
Published: May 12, 2006
Starting this summer, there will be a lot more organic food on supermarket shelves, and it should cost a lot less.
Skip to next paragraph
Enlarge This Image
Misty Keasler for The New York Times
Michelle Philips and her daughter Madison at a Wal-Mart in Plano, Tex. Wal-Mart has decided that organic food will help modernize its image.
Related
Wal-Mart Tries to Enlist Image Help (May 12, 2006)
Misty Keasler for The New York Times
Wal-Mart has asked suppliers to help it offer more organic food.
Most of the nation’s major food producers are hard at work developing organic versions of their best-selling products, like Kellogg’s Rice Krispies and Kraft’s macaroni and cheese.
Why the sudden activity? In large part because Wal-Mart wants to sell more organic food — and because of its size and power, Wal-Mart usually gets what it wants.
As the nation’s largest grocery retailer, Wal-Mart has decided that offering more organic food will help modernize its image and broaden its appeal to urban and other upscale consumers. It has asked its large suppliers to help.
Wal-Mart’s interest is expected to change organic food production in substantial ways.
Well, if I’m looking for an ISP and it’s a choice between Qwest and NSA Telecom, guess who’ll I choose.
If they’ll turn over your phone records then they’ll sure as heck turn over your IP traffic records.
The real problem is that you have no idea what they are doing.
Most telecommunications today (voice, data) is passed over IP networks. If the telcos are capturing IP data they could capture anything they want (website traffic, chat communications, IM communications, telephone calls, remote computer sessions, etc). You have absolutely no idea if they are doing this or not. Why wouldn’t they?
What if, while reading an al-jazeera.com article you clicked a link to a muslim website served out of iran or pakistan. This triggered your IP to be recorded, tracked to the IP block owner (most likely an upstreem telco), then tracked to your local ISP. They receive a “national security” request to forward all IP traffic from your dsl/cable/phone modem (based on hardware address) to NSA HQ for analysis. Would the telco refuse?