Heather Remembers John Lennon

(This was written by my wife Heather)

The day I turned eleven John Lennon was murdered. I only knew him as a British guy who had tiny round glasses. At that time, music was just really none of my business. It was a different world for eleven year olds back then. My friend Carmella, however, knew very well who John Lennon was. She had this cool and very mysterious older brother who was a big fan of music, and he loved the Beatles.

The day after Lennon’s death, I had a birthday party. In attendance a gaggle of giggly eleven year olds, high on cake frosting, waited with great anticipation for the annual presentation of Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer on network television. When we turned on the television and adjusted the bunny ears, all we saw were reports of the murder. Carmella filled us in. She told the news of Lennon’s murder like someone announcing they have been diagnosed with cancer.

Needless to say, Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer had a creepy and confusing tone that year. I remember how unusually dark it was outside and how warm it was inside, and how surreal the whole situation was. Disappointed that my birthday party turned into a macabre gathering rather than a lighthearted celebration, and never really understanding Beatlemania, I went on with my life. I even lost touch with Carmella.

Years later I went through a terrible time. One especially difficult night, following my break up from the love of my life, I was standing at the kitchen counter making a tuna fish sandwich for me to share with my kitten. My mind raced with panicked thoughts about my loss as I schemed of ways to get him back. I toggled between wanting to get him back for making me feel like my guts were being chewed on by a rabid coyote and wanting to get him back in my life. In my private agony, ‘Let It Be’ popped into my head.

LET IT BE
When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people
Living in the world agree,
There will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is
Still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be. Yeah
There will be an answer, let it be.

And when the night is cloudy,
There is still a light that shines on me,
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be,
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be. I always thought it was a beautiful song but in an instant, I suddenly understood the genius of John Lennon and the Beatles. A peaceful light filled me. I had, in my unenlightened youth, interpreted “let it be” to mean “make it so”, akin to God saying “let there be light” and there was. This time, “let it be” meant “leave it be, leave it alone”. My situation was something I couldn’t control or change. It was out of my hands.

So, my brain stopped her panicked toggling and relaxed. I heard the whispered words of wisdom. My scheming had really been a prayer and my prayer had been answered. I let it be and once again went on with my life.

Today, I made a tuna fish sandwich to share with my cat and the love of my life. I hope our twin boys will grow to understand the Beatles.