Don’t Assault Our Tragedies!

Nature has been racking up a significant body count recently in the form of hurricanes, but with the new rapid-fire bullet propulsion toys about to hit the streets, I have no doubt that humans will be on top again before too long.  Thinking back to Columbine and the DC sniper attacks, it would be a stretch to say that either one of them led to as much overall damage as the hurricanes have in recent days, but it’s always been a trait of the American spirit to push through and overcome adversity. It won’t be long now before the ban, which just lapsed on assault weapons, allows us to experience another bullet-riddled tragedy to bring us all together once more.

The amount of these mass shootings within our own borders has seemed to have been in decline, which has left us uninspired and confused, but soon enough that will be rectified. The effect they have on us is astounding. There’s rarely a machine-gun massacre in a local human resources office that doesn’t make you realize how precious this life of ours truly is, and how unimportant most of the stuff we worry about can be. Even if the body count doesn’t get above two or three, there’s a collective period of recollection and self-examination that takes place, to which many of us can attest major changes in our lives to over the years. The tragedies make us stronger, they unite us. There’s wisdom at play here.

Our leadership understands this, and they also understand that tragedies aren’t just going to happen on their own! If the attacker doesn’t have a weapon capable of taking out at least a couple of bodies before they’re in custody, the news probably won’t send but a single reporter to the scene. In times of struggle and hardship, our leaders understand the importance of larger body counts, and larger front page headlines. They know that without the tragedies being juicy enough, we won’t be able to experience the kind of self-reflection needed to gain a true understanding of who we are in this life, and why we may even exist in the first place.

This administration is looking out for our souls, as I’ve grown to understand in the past few years. They’re looking at the glass as neither half empty nor half full, but simply too peaceful to be of any use to us. Tranquility is the root of all evil. If we just went through life without tragedies to shake things up, then what would we ever learn? The tradition of tragedies due to gun violence in America is being embraced by our president, and it will be because of him that one day we’ll all get to feel warm and fuzzy about one another over hearing about a kid somewhere who got his hands on one of these new rifles and brought it to the mall. It will shock and sadden us, and it will make us appreciate life and the people we are blessed to share it with that much more.

The evil tree hugging left will attempt to fill your heads this week with the ‘danger’ associated with these weapons and call it a bad thing, but don’t forget how you felt the days following Columbine or 9/11. Understand that the wisdom behind the decisions made by our president is beyond our capacity to comprehend, and in the end, it’s the majority he’s looking out for. If a tragedy takes place, a handful of people die, but thousands are provided a moment of inner reflection over it, then he’s done his job well. In the name of continued tragedies bringing America together, I salute President Bush and his continued fight to inspire all of us. Assault weapons truly do hold the key to inner peace, and I’m glad that our president understands that.